should i listen to myself?

i often find myself worrying over things that i make up in my head. Once again this always always goes back to him. Why is my whole thought and mind process always focused around him. I can't seem to funtion daily without him in my head in some way. I really think i may have a problem. obsessed? is that what it is? obsession? what is it? or is it the fact that i can't trust him. I always feel that he'd doing something behind my back, or hiding things from me? i am constantly searching for something to find. I sometimes feel that i should take a step back from this relationship.I never had a dependency problem before and i don't feel that i've ever been hurt? was it from what happened with chris? the things i found out at his funeral? scarred me, for life?