finishing up

i think it's time for me to grow up a little. i feel like i've been saying that for such a long time but it's true. I need to get my life together, all together.

Now that i have found someone that i truely love can spend the rest of my life with, i know that i need to get my life together all the way before i can share that with someone else. I need to be able to be an adult. That's scary to think about but i know that's what i need to do.

I love him so much that everyday that this passes by i worry that i may lose him. It sounds so pathetic though, i used to never be like this. I didn't believe in love, and i don't really know if i still really do in a sense. I feel it cuz i'm in love right now, but this feeling takes so much control over you its almost unbearing. I would almost sometimes rather not have this because with good it comes with so much bad too. The bad sometimes even out wieghs the good...

i guess it's better to have loved then to never love at all?